Two days ago I was composing an email attempting to negotiate an ‘I am worth more than you want to pay me’ deal.
    I was pretty pleased with the results. Therefore, when my brother Jaron, king of the one liners, negotiator par excellance, hollywood mega bachelor, signed on IM, (ok usually that means Internet Marketing, but now it means instant messenger), I was ready to show it off.
    A word about my brother. There are very few people who you will meet in this life who possess his unique combination of talents. When he walks into a room, you NEED more oxygen, since his presence takes up so much of the space. No, he is NOT fat, he just commands attention. Yet he is also a best friend, generous, and very self aware. He can walk into well established companies , and without understanding their product, identify their weeknesees and how to improve. He is NOT a sounding board, rather a problem solver. Period.
    I saved our IM conversation. You can see my minimal input in (paranthesis)
    To start it off I told him I wrote an email I want him to take a look at….that I was trying to negotiate a better deal for myself..
    He knows no details, situation, etc.. but takes off…

    “rule one about negotiating”
    “and theres only one”
    “cant negotiate unless you can walk away”
    “if you can and i think you can, do it”
    (read this beauty of an email I wrote (not included here)).

    “you want my opinion?”
    “keep it in your journal and write something more appropriate”
    “he’s not your friend”
    “he sounds like a lover”
    “too much info in here”

    (but… we are friends)

    “but this email is not about friends”
    “its about biz”
    “you need to separate the two”
    “it has both sides in there”
    “and i know you are friendly”
    “but that doesnt make it sound professional”
    “you need to trim the fat, take out the emotion, take out advising him on what to do, and make it streamlined…”
    “here’s the deal etc”
    “what I want”
    “so just write one paragraph to him”
    “he knows the deal”

    (but he MAY not know..)

    “doesnt matter”
    “he doesn’t need to know”
    “you don’t need to tell him anything”
    “it sounds juvenile”
    “i dont understand the pay structure”

    (I write it one sentence)

    “for starters that needs to change”
    “you need to be compensated on results + time”
    “you need to be compensated on a sliding scale”
    “depending on whether it’s your idea or you are doing his”
    “if you come up with something your percentages are higher and your still paid your hourly wage to execute”
    “and if its his, you execute at a less percentage and the same hourly wage”
    “either way, you need to tell him what you want to make”
    “that number should be about 25% higher than what you’ll accept”

    (I say he is funny)

    “its true”
    “but lay it out in a few sentences”
    “people who are curt are taken more seriously”
    “tell him you’re out of there if these requests are not met”
    “tell him you have money coming in from other places now and it doesnt pay to keep doing his work when you’re making more from other sources”

    (I say lies. all lies (well mostly ;) ))

    “welcome to biz 101″
    “the art of negotiating”
    “thats why im great at it”
    “be strong and short”

    (arent you nervous to piss people off?)

    “never. liars speak too much”
    “i can always walk”
    “i say it in 3 sentences or less”
    “and tell them if this doesnt work out hopefully we can do business sometime when it does”
    “no hard feelings”
    “keep it simple”
    “if you talk too much they know you need them”
    “and its emotional”
    “keep emotion out of it”
    “otherwise your transparent”
    “it shows youre hurt”

    (you speak this way to women too?)

    “honestly? im the most honest person”
    “i truly never lie”
    “i dont need to”
    “and i tell them that”
    “i tell girls and people in biz, im too fantastic to lie to you”
    “you’re not worth me lying”
    “think about how strong that statement is”
    “i dont need to lie”
    “i dont care enough”
    “its such a strong position”
    “i just dont wont to be in business/relationship with someone who doesnt get me/it”

    (Yes.. the “I couldnt be bothered”.. my motto for over 2 decades)
    “but its not apathy”
    “its genuine”
    “theres a fine line”
    “its kindness”
    “not rude”
    “its strength”


    (I interrupt to mention something benign like an analogy of how it’s nicer for a girl to reject a guy than string him along or some personal issue but here is FOCUS for you)

    “lets not talk about that right now”
    “tell me what you want”
    “per hour and percentage”
    “what you want to make for the year”
    “and come in aggressive”
    “get his attention or you’ll be ignored”
    “then you want to own a piece of your ideas”
    “compensated with a greater percentage when the idea comes from you”

    (me: anyways I get what I get per hour if I am shining his shoes or giving him million $ ideas)
    (approval! Score!)

    “dont explain that to him, he knows it already”
    “just tell him what you want”
    “and when he plays dumb and asks then you can tell him”
    “dont talk too much”
    “keep it short”
    “just stick to the facts and write it”

    Well what do you think I did in the end?
    … I sent my original email minus one line (it was 3:00 AM & I was not going to compose a new one)… … HOWEVER .. the lesson he offered has been heard loud and clear and as most lessons.. as you are educated and mature, you incorporate more of these tools for when you need them next and are better prepared.
    What do you think of this negotiating style? How do you negotiate?
    Here is a great quote from Liz Strauss from a comment on getting your worth
    “If there was a problem on their end, we negotiated how we might make it work by adjusting the job, not the price.”

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