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- Aug 29th, 2007
- 53 Comments
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Two days ago I was composing an email attempting to negotiate an ‘I am worth more than you want to pay me’ deal.
I was pretty pleased with the results. Therefore, when my brother Jaron, king of the one liners, negotiator par excellance, hollywood mega bachelor, signed on IM, (ok usually that means Internet Marketing, but now it means instant messenger), I was ready to show it off.
A word about my brother. There are very few people who you will meet in this life who possess his unique combination of talents. When he walks into a room, you NEED more oxygen, since his presence takes up so much of the space. No, he is NOT fat, he just commands attention. Yet he is also a best friend, generous, and very self aware. He can walk into well established companies , and without understanding their product, identify their weeknesees and how to improve. He is NOT a sounding board, rather a problem solver. Period.
I saved our IM conversation. You can see my minimal input in (paranthesis)
To start it off I told him I wrote an email I want him to take a look at….that I was trying to negotiate a better deal for myself..
He knows no details, situation, etc.. but takes off…
“rule one about negotiating”
“and theres only one”
“cant negotiate unless you can walk away”
“if you can and i think you can, do it”
(read this beauty of an email I wrote (not included here)).
“you want my opinion?”
“keep it in your journal and write something more appropriate”
“he’s not your friend”
“he sounds like a lover”
“too much info in here”
(but… we are friends)
“but this email is not about friends”
“its about biz”
“you need to separate the two”
“it has both sides in there”
“and i know you are friendly”
“but that doesnt make it sound professional”
“you need to trim the fat, take out the emotion, take out advising him on what to do, and make it streamlined…”
“here’s the deal etc”
“what I want”
“so just write one paragraph to him”
“he knows the deal”
(but he MAY not know..)
“doesnt matter”
“he doesn’t need to know”
“you don’t need to tell him anything”
“it sounds juvenile”
“i dont understand the pay structure”
(I write it one sentence)
“for starters that needs to change”
“listen”
“you need to be compensated on results + time”
“you need to be compensated on a sliding scale”
“depending on whether it’s your idea or you are doing his”
“if you come up with something your percentages are higher and your still paid your hourly wage to execute”
“and if its his, you execute at a less percentage and the same hourly wage”
“either way, you need to tell him what you want to make”
“that number should be about 25% higher than what you’ll accept”
(I say he is funny)
“its true”
“but lay it out in a few sentences”
“people who are curt are taken more seriously”
“tell him you’re out of there if these requests are not met”
“tell him you have money coming in from other places now and it doesnt pay to keep doing his work when you’re making more from other sources”
(I say lies. all lies (well mostly
))
“welcome to biz 101″
“the art of negotiating”
“thats why im great at it”
“be strong and short”
(arent you nervous to piss people off?)
“never. liars speak too much”
“i can always walk”
“i say it in 3 sentences or less”
“and tell them if this doesnt work out hopefully we can do business sometime when it does”
“no hard feelings”
“keep it simple”
“if you talk too much they know you need them”
“and its emotional”
“keep emotion out of it”
“otherwise your transparent”
“it shows youre hurt”
(you speak this way to women too?)
“honestly? im the most honest person”
“i truly never lie”
“i dont need to”
“and i tell them that”
“i tell girls and people in biz, im too fantastic to lie to you”
“you’re not worth me lying”
“think about how strong that statement is”
“i dont need to lie”
“i dont care enough”
“its such a strong position”
“i just dont wont to be in business/relationship with someone who doesnt get me/it”
(Yes.. the “I couldnt be bothered”.. my motto for over 2 decades)
“but its not apathy”
“its genuine”
“theres a fine line”
“its kindness”
“not rude”
“its strength”
(I interrupt to mention something benign like an analogy of how it’s nicer for a girl to reject a guy than string him along or some personal issue but here is FOCUS for you)
“lets not talk about that right now”
“tell me what you want”
“per hour and percentage”
“what you want to make for the year”
“and come in aggressive”
“get his attention or you’ll be ignored”
“then you want to own a piece of your ideas”
“compensated with a greater percentage when the idea comes from you”
(me: anyways I get what I get per hour if I am shining his shoes or giving him million $ ideas)
“exactly”
(approval! Score!)
“dont explain that to him, he knows it already”
“just tell him what you want”
“and when he plays dumb and asks then you can tell him”
“dont talk too much”
“keep it short”
“just stick to the facts and write it”
Well what do you think I did in the end?
… I sent my original email minus one line (it was 3:00 AM & I was not going to compose a new one)… … HOWEVER .. the lesson he offered has been heard loud and clear and as most lessons.. as you are educated and mature, you incorporate more of these tools for when you need them next and are better prepared.
What do you think of this negotiating style? How do you negotiate?
Here is a great quote from Liz Strauss from a comment on getting your worth
“If there was a problem on their end, we negotiated how we might make it work by adjusting the job, not the price.”
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- Aug 24th, 2007
- 77 Comments
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Did you ever notice how when you do things accidently, it is a lot easier to accomplish, than doing so on purpose? I know I was not the ‘inspiration’, yet I linked to Joanna, reminding her of what she calls thematic link posting, which inspired Liz to issue a challenge to weave blogs together with a theme.
Wow. The whole world is out there for my picking, and now I dont know where to go.
I am going to tell you something shocking, and hard to believe.
There are people, in their mid-youth (as in not our grandparents), who dont own computers, and may even be scared of them. That means they only rely on their friends, family, neighbors, and random outings for experiences and life content. That is so 1860′s! I shudder at the thought!
I am rapidly yanked out of my blog vortex and brought back to reality with the slamming of the door. It is my daughters last day of ‘day camp’ and I am invited to watch her perform. All the mommies are sitting against the wall of a cramped building lobby and watching our girls doing a few silly skits and I cant help but think.. this was all these girls have been talking about, thinking about, and working towards for the last 2 days straight. How small can someones’ life be?
Is this new blog environment I am spending so much time in… the one that has me itching for her show to end,
social or anti social? I use to crave leaving the computer for a few hours at the park with the children. That was before WE met!
You (and there are many of YOU), have replaced my need to yap about the best sippy cups, which park do we prefer, and whats for dinner.
Yet you dont know who I am.
I think I have become a blog addict. I say I havent watched TV in a year, but that doesnt mean all my time is well spent!
So as I am in the middle of the ‘bigness’ of it all – I am simultaneously smiling at my baby, watching him crawl around and making sure nothing enters his mouth, so I am constantly reminded of the ‘smallness’ of it all.
Perhaps the smallness of it all is what I share with YOU, but the bigness is the smile my baby reserves JUST FOR ME.
I surf around some and realize that there really are no rules..
and realize that the lines are blurred for largesse and smallesse – see I can even make up my own words –
I witness a sampling:
the smallness of a diary of a childs health / eating habits
the middle size countdown for a pregnancy
the bigger and put to better use education blog
the eggs over easy too much information our paths would never cross if it werent for the web Blog
The commercial size (and shameless plug for my twin brothers) USA TV Character Road trip blog
The largness of a conversation blog (every post on this site is a conversation)
The colossal (pun intended) get everyone involved and make a difference blog
And How Opportunity Works is what has me up at 5:50 AM while my baby is ASLEEP, working to meet Liz’s deadline.
I am not certain I succeeded at what was being asked, but at least I got no sleep, will be further behind on paying projects, and will scream at my kids all day tomorrow.
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- Aug 22nd, 2007
- 4,097 Comments
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Generalization coming up! I have heard multiple times from many individuals that ADD (attention deficit disorder) is required to acheive (online) success.. this is how it goes down:
ADD stimulates creativity. Creativity stimulates product creation/development. Product creation/development generates $$$.
As I have said, if you are looking to earn big money in the Internet Marketing field, you NEED to create. Unless you are a premier affiliate marketer, niche marketer, coach, etc., (and even so), this is a field which requires creation. I believe it is one of the single greatest reasons people have a hard time making a buck despite their efforts.
They dont GET THAT.
You NEED TO Create.
There is however a little discrepancy in this logic however, since you ADD’ers are all over the place, and product development clearly requires focus and determination.
Maybe that just answered it?
Determination and Will should be able to overcome almost any obstacle, including the all too often and way over diagnosed ADD. I am still undecided about myself – perhaps I am just a creative, but very busy mom. Although not sure that excuse works for why I have 13 browser windows open at any given time.
The first featured Internet Coach on the reality show of The Next Internet Millionaire was Mark Joyner, aka the ‘Godfather of Internet Marketing’ and creator of simpleology.
(as an aside.. maybe you are wondering why I, first runner up, major upset, big disappointment, admit to watching the show, and by mentioning it, I am even promoting it. Yes, welcome to the world of a GROWN UP
. I was actually surprised to feel ‘missed’ and the gaping hole where I should have been. I did not expect it. I dont think it is mutually exclusive to say I see where I could have added value and been an asset, and that I dont think I deserve it more than the others, (hmm well maybe). To the producers.. I would eventually appreciate a follow up email why I was 1st runner up. )
How was that for shifting focus?
Simpleology is known as ‘The Simple Science of Getting What you Want’. If I learned one RELEVANT thing from the first episode of the show it the rule of straight lines. You draw one dot on the left side of a page, and a right dot on the right side of the page. Then discuss your daily activities (unclear if they mean in general or when you start work), and see how far you veer off from creating a straight line from one dot to the other.
All I have to say is one thing. OY VEY!!
This is ME:
My ‘law of straight lines’ resembles one of my childrens’ connect the dots worksheet!
As I write this blog, I have a guy in the other room building a piece of furniture I bought, a friend over helping to organize the stuff going in it, writing a post concurrantly in 2 other blogs, writing a salesletter for a product I created, checking out the website who hired me for consultation, composing a list of requirements to another blogger who will be helping me tweak the other 2 blogs mentioned, checking out the emails for my part-time job, running a load of laundry and defrosting food for later, composing an update for my outsourcer for a new website, etc.. The baby is absent from this list, when he is usually a primary role, since this is my one morning a week that my Mom is watching him.
Please respond with ONE way that you have worked to maintain better focus, and have less jags in that straight line. I will collect the list and make a post with your website included!
Let me start:
One way to stay focused:
1. Deadlines are very helpful, so I pretend I am my own ‘boss’ and that I have to meet my deadline. I dont like to disappoint anyone, including myself!
That may not be a good one, but hey.. this is why I turn to you..
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- Aug 17th, 2007
- 53 Comments
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Last night I had the pleasure of meeting with fellow NIM ‘loser’ (as if baby), Gail Greenberg. Yes, here in Jerusalem, Israel.
I had a post ‘in waiting’ for the right moment and good ol’ Gail has inspired me to share part of it now.
Gail and I discussed how we are each working on putting ourselves out there. You cant believe the stuff this girl has up her sleeve. I am talking serious internet SUCCESS! As internet marketers, we can see potential online $$ value in every idea/business/concept, etc..
So Gail wants to know… why am I so embarrased to charge what I am worth??
I hide behind potential partnerships – Any time someone mentions some interesting niche topic, I never tire of thinking of potential partnerships and money to be made. I figure people are not interested in paying and here is a chance to get 50% of a business instead of a small sum consulting. Yet, since they have no idea what they are receiving, and yes – dont pay for it! – they dont value what I suggest and shrug it off..
If I charged them what the information is worth, perhaps they would take me more seriously?
This is a big ‘woman’ problem (sorry for generalizing). How often have you given free advice, done a friend a favor, and not received pay for it. How often have you been EXPECTED to (I almost lost a friend over this, when she expected me to offer to work for her for free, and ironically I would have (but shouldnt have) but didnt want to impose my service on her in case she was not interested!)
Charlie Cook (yes a MAN!), in his Marketing for Success Blog, nails it with Why Women Dont Make What they Should. Basically, women feel guilty asking for pay, and see themselves as problem solvers.
Gail really gave me a pick me up. She is more determined than I am for me to recognize my worth, my mad marketing skills, how ridiculously valuable they are to most businesses who cant translate their offline/online businesses into the success, and how much people were really taken with me. True her experience was with the voting for The Next Internet Millionaire Reality Show (for which I was first runner up).
Yes, she insisted that people really respond to me, and will really respond to me. I caved and said ‘aww shucks’ (more! more! more!)
So this is how I am feeling now ..
Thanks Gail… right back at ya!
Other women entreupreuners…
Are YOU Getting what you are worth?? What advice would you offer?
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- Aug 6th, 2007
- 21 Comments
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Fortunately and Unfortunately I need your help. The last few days my blog had some server issues and now that I am able to post, my baby decided to sleep 8 hours in a row last night (yah!), leaving me on the verge of a breast infection today (blah!). I am in pain, and waiting for the tylenol to do what it can. The added bonus – my car has no a/c and I live in the Middle East and I was out all day in 100F, so I am just barely alive. Can you help me finish my thoughts today (or buy me a new car !)?
Over dinner a few nights ago, there was a conversation between myself and Others who DONT get ‘the whole web thing’.
They agreed that when starting any new business venture, online or offline, solid good advice is to look around at others in your field, either in your ‘niche’ or just generally successful, and imitate them.
This is not to suggest common practice where I live – that you open a ‘felafel store’ next door to another ‘felafel store’ since they appear to be raking it in.
However, if you visualize the internet as it is.. the biggest strip mall EVER.. (you know what I mean by strip right?? I am out of the USA so long I just want to make sure this is the proper term! ).. that means we may all be opening up stores right ‘next to each other’ but the ENTIRE WORLD is our potential customer. That leaves plenty to go around, and room for very healthy competition!
The conversation continued…
Fine!! Agreed. Free Market Economy. Enough to go around. Snoop on your competitors, interview their friends and friends of their friends and milk them for details, do what you have to, but…
Why link to someone who is your competitor??
(Disclaimer – I cant shine the shoes of those ‘supposed competitors’ but a healthy self esteem cant hurt, eh?)
Reebok and Nike / Pepsi and Coke / Walmart and K-Mart – competitors for generations. Can you picture them helping the other out? That may have saved them a lot of Advertising money!
Naturally a Blog, with nothing to sell, except the persona behind it, cannot exist in a vacuum.
Are we reaching who we want/need to by reaching out to each other?
To be perfectly honest, I could be completely off here. As cathartic and enjoyable as I find blogging, it was (is?) intended to be another piece in the puzzle towards helping me reach my online goal$$. I am currently not in a position, with a young family, to be writing only for pleasure (of course it helps that it offers me pleasure). Are you?
How do YOU explain this unique online relationship?
P.S – as I was searching for my last link love…. check out this post (will open new window). How ironic to stumble across Garry’s post as I was writing mine..and frankly alittleLOT terrifying.
~~andrea
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